Cheese!

Smile, laugh, live longer, be happy!

* * *Report received by a father from his young son's teacher: "Dull but steady - would make a good parent."

* * *Small boy to father: "Here's my report card and one of yours I found in the attic."

* * *A white rat, recently from the laboratory to his cage, ran up to a fellow rat in great excitement. "You know what?" he exclaimed, "I've got Dr.Zilch conditioned!" "How is that?" asked his chum. "Well," said the first rat, "every time I go through the maze he gives me food."

* * *Psychiatrist to patient: "Maybe you haven't got a complex - maybe you are inferior."

* * * My friend Jack Yellen ran into a doctor who was holding his head between his hands and groaning: "I've got to see a psychiatrist." "But you're a psychiatrist," said Jack. "I know," was the retort, "but I charge too much".

* * *An indignant traveler wrote the railway: "I take your 9.35 a.m. train daily. I cannot get a seat near the front of the train and sometimes have to stand all the way. Several coaches on this train near the back carry very few passengers. Will you please advise me why those coaches cannot be put on the front of the train so we won't be so crowded?"

* * *An agitated young man ran frantically down the ferry slip, leaped across a strip of water and landed with a crash on the deck of the boat. "Well," he gasped, as he picked himself up, "I made it!" "What's your hurry?" asked a deck hand. "This boat is coming in."

* * *After you've heard two eye-witness accounts of a motor accident, you begin to worry about history.

* * *A taxi was creeping slowly through the rush-hour traffic and the passenger was in a hurry. "Please," he said to thе driver, "can't you go any faster?" "Of course I can," the cabby replied. "But I ain't allowed to leave the taxi."